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Digest - 12 Jan 2009 to 13 Jan 2009 (#2009-12)

Tue, 13 Jan 2009

There are 2 messages totalling 96 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

   1. FORKNI-L Digest - 11 Jan 2009 to 12 Jan 2009 (#2009-11)
   2. PRAYER - My mom (update)


Date:    Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:11:11 -0800
From:    Jenice Coffey <jenice_coffey@h.......>
Subject: Re: FORKNI-L Digest - 11 Jan 2009 to 12 Jan 2009 (#2009-11)

I am praying for you. My Grandma passed away suddenly in November 2 of 2008
  She had a heartattack in church. I feel for you and know that you and yours
  are n my heart. Reading your emails has made me think of her and makes me
  sad all over again. God is with you as he was with me. Please hold on to
  that though it is though.

Your friend
Jenice Coffey

> I was really upset and my stomach was very nauseous, it was this morning
too. Dot told me that she might be gone, but she wasn't. She's a tough
one, that's for sure. While Dot took a call from their other sister Kathy,
I was alone with mom, so I looked her in the eyes said "thanks for being
my mom, and I love you" and a few other things. She had some tears in her
eyes again, so I'm sure she knew.

> > I called dad and put the cell phone near mom's ear so he could say goodbye
and everything that he needs to say. I figured she needed to hear, one last
time, the voice of her husband and the father of her girl. He was really upset
which made me more upset, because no one wants their parent upset.

> > So now it comes down to waiting. Today before we left mom grabbed our
> hands and looked wide eyed at me and Dot. She's not gone yet, but I
> need all the support possible, and I will tell you all when she does
> finally pass.

> > I think I'm more upset seeing her in that condition, struggling so hard to
breathe. I wish she'd go because then she won't be in any pain, but she's
hanging on still, and won't go just yet. Her sats were low but stable, and her
oxygen rose while we were there, even though she had some small seizures. Dot
said that her hypoglycemia turned into diabetes we think now because of the
likelihood that the cancer spread to her pancreas. Even before the stroke she'd
not been eating well, and I'd had to stand there and make her eat something.
So, it must be all over her body now. I just want her to be at peace, unafraid,
unburdened. I told her "do what you need to do. Relax. Don't fight, you don't
have to fight anymore. Let me care for you now".

> > So, I'm kinda hoping mom goes in the night so that she can finally have
no pain, and can shed this ailing body and be free. We left her favorite
Christian radio station on for her, and now I listen to it in the car. It's
kinda funny... many of the songs really relate to what she's going through.
I hope it brings her comfort and peace.

> > > Thank you all for the outpouring of love and support in this difficult

> > Megan
> > > > > ------------------------------
> > Date: Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:07:10 -0500
> From: Ramona Jackson <lexyladyjax@g.......
>> Subject: Re: Prayer Request

> > > So from my heart of hearts, thank you. All of you.

> > > I've been praying for you and your mom right along. I pray for you to have
> the strength to get through the tasks ahead of you now. May God bless you
> during this difficult time.

> > Ramona

> > ------------------------------
> > End of FORKNI-L Digest - 11 Jan 2009 to 12 Jan 2009 (#2009-11)
> **************************************************************


Date:    Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:10:44 -0800
From:    Megan MacLean <xena_goddess_of_war_99@y.......>
Subject: PRAYER - My mom (update)

I woke up again feeling horrible, with the nausea but as I drove to
Dot's it lessened. In fact today was the first day I HAVEN'T cried.

Mom's sats were up and steady and so was her oxygen, again. It's like
she rallies and then slips, then repeats the process. She was more
aware today so I called dad and let him talk to her again. It just
kills me to hear him in tears, but I know he needs to grieve too. 34
years of marriage... and to not be able to be here can't be easy to

But it does seem that mom is a tough girl, and is hanging on even
though the cancer has spread to pretty much everywhere - there are
huge tumors in her lungs, it's in her bones, in her brain and
pancreas, but she still fights for that next breath, still keeps

After being there a bit Dot called to see if mom's favorite pastor,
Steve would come tonight, and one of the Doctors at the CTCA (cancer
treatment center of america) came in. He wanted to know how we felt
about hospice care. (this place is not for terminally ill cancer

See, its all these machines and shit that's keeping her organs going
really, the fluids and stuff, and they can't give her the pain meds
that he needs to make her comfortable because of the medical
restrictions and such. If they give med A her sodium goes up, so they
give fluids to lower that, which back washes into her lungs, which
requires suction, and so on. She's on IV morphine every two hours and
some drug that starts with a P under her tongue for breakthrough
pain, but it's just not even touching her pain now, which is constant
from it being everywhere.

So what hospice care does is just treat the pain, make and keep the
person comfortable, no matter if her lungs do this, or her sodium
does that, it just keeps her out of the pain. I'm hoping that this
will ease mom's transition and maybe speed it up.

The Cancer center has a mindbody staff and I mentioned I do Reiki, he
was interested because he wants to learn it himself. And one of the
other staff asked me if I was planning to continue Reiki training
because they were hoping to get someone to do that there at the

Anyway Mom is moving tonight to one of the Hospice of the Vally
locations, and Dot bought her some Christian CDs. I never knew she
was Protestant.

I called dad to tell him about the move and he said he wanted me to
have a say in mom's final arrangements. I know from Dot she wants to
be cremated and I'm uncomfortable challenging that - it is her
choice. But as for where her resting place will be... I don't know...
so he said he'd get back with me on that (he was getting really
choked up).

For some reason today I didn't cry at all. I teared up a little bit
at times, but no weeping. I didn't feel as sad today either. I think
that talking to the staff there and to Dot is helping me, but I will
pursue therapy after it happens.

Again thank you all for letting me share my trials with you, it makes
this burden so much easier to bear


End of FORKNI-L Digest - 12 Jan 2009 to 13 Jan 2009 (#2009-12)

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